


never expected to need you like I did (like I still do)

by sarahshelena



Series: orphan black with dæmons [2]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Canon Autistic Character, Clonecest, Could Be Canon, Daemon Touching, Daemons, Explicit Consent, F/F, First Time, Meant To Be, Pre-Series, Same-Sex Daemons, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:44:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6811690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahshelena/pseuds/sarahshelena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a look at a night between veera and niki</p>
            </blockquote>





	never expected to need you like I did (like I still do)

**Author's Note:**

> dæmon AU (based on the _his dark materials'_ book universe in which people's souls live outside their bodies in the form of an animal that reflects their human's personality.)
> 
> same-sex dæmons are rare, but just to make this AU a little different, and to signify the rarity of clones, all genetic identicals have a dæmon the same gender as the one they themselves were assigned at birth. to simplify: the leda clones have female dæmons and the castor clones have male dæmons.
> 
> [veera's dæmon](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com/post/159046345423/4-of-o-b-w-i-t-h-d-%C3%A6-m-o-n-s-by) is an arctic fox in summer coat, shown [here](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com/tagged/arctic-fox)
> 
> [niki's dæmon](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com/post/159231985918/10-of-o-b-w-i-t-h-d-%C3%A6-m-o-n-s-by) is a japanese marten shown [here](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com/tagged/japanese-marten)
> 
> enjoy!

_“I had not found a friend with whom I could share, without translation, the dark language of my thoughts.”_

— 'The Service of Clouds' by Delia Falconer 

* * *

Veera would always hold her dæmon in her arms as closely as she could — so she could protect her.

It seemed redundant; she and her dæmon were _one._ Yet still Veera clung to her.

The silvery-brown fox was cradled in her arms when she first met Beth face-to-face, and when Beth pulled a gun on them both, Veera flinched away, the fox held close to her chest, shielding her soul from the bullet that never came.

* * *

Athough Veera never let go of her dæmon when in the company of others, the fox wasn't at all wary of Niki's dæmon, whose name was Hemera. But having spent practically her whole existence clutched in Veera's desperately lonely grip, she had very little experience with other dæmons, the both of them so used to solitude that they they were all each other had.

But the fox willingly stepped out of Veera's arms the night that Niki first embraced her — awaiting the long, lithe creature that flowed down Niki's body like water from her spot on the clone's shoulder. They approached each other hesitantly before tenderly nuzzling.

Hemera was a sinuous, ferret-like creature with an intensely bright gold pelt and a white-furred face — a Japanese marten.

* * *

Niki was the first to touch her lips to Veera's, her mouth sweet and sure, but never pushing her friend, never forcing – she waited, lips damp with love.

Veera had fallen in love with Niki's light a long time ago; she gave in to her longing and let herself be kissed, the first time she had shared any part of herself with someone — and it was the only person she had ever wanted or ever allowed herself to need.

Niki smiled against her lips.

Veera felt warm hands plucking at her clothes and shrugged out of them until there was only bare hands and bare flesh. She undressed her friend with trembling hands. Niki giggled and helped her, kissing her lips, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, her eyelids that were fatigued by fear; asked softly, "Is this okay, Vee?"

Veera nodded emphatically, silently; having lost all her words. Niki had coaxed them right out of her.

The fox just buried her face in the marten's golden fur, hiding from herself, hiding from the world. The smaller dæmon uttered quiet, chittering words, and flexed herself sensually around the fox's limbs to comfort and soothe her, pushing herself through the creamy brown fur of the other dæmon's belly, crooning softly.

Veera was shaking so much she couldn't even reach out to touch the girl she loved. So Niki reached for her instead, hands splayed over Veera's ribcage, the tips of her thumbs brushing the velvety undersides of her friend's breasts.

"Is this ok, Vee?" Niki whispered, pressing her lips together. It was the first time she'd ever looked truly fearful, not simply worried.

Veera nodded again, trying to force her lips and tongue to form words when they were encompassed in a sudden, slow and sensual kiss — it was a long and luscious moment in which Veera learnt what Niki tasted like, and the knowing was glorious.

The fox clicketed softly in the back of her throat as she lay on her side, the marten cradled lovingly in the curve of her body.

Niki's hands moved to Veera's breasts, lingering and familiarising before they shifted to her thighs. Veera found herself breathing faster, practically hyperventilating in her excitement. She hardly ever touched herself there, there was never the time or the need, but when _Niki_ touched her there, Veera gasped harshly, choking on her intake of air.

Niki stopped and sat up, concerned, "Are you all right?" her eyes were wide with trepidation, "Vee?"

"I am fine," Veera murmured, her cheeks flushed, abashed, "Sorry."

Niki's expression softened, and the hand that had been resting on Veera's bare thigh touched her cheek, "Don't be-"

"It's just- You know I haven't-"

"I know," her fingers tracing over Veera's cheekbone, Niki craned her head forward to capture Veera's lips.

The kiss lasted some time, for Veera couldn't resist tentatively exploring Niki's mouth with her tongue.

Their two dæmons rolled over and over each other, playfully, innocently, perfectly content.

"And there's nothing wrong with that," Niki mumbled against Veera's lips.

After that, finding a way to hold back the sounds that made their way up her throat was almost torture as Niki's fingers gently slid between her legs and caressed the most intimate, secret part of her, asked for confirmation once more before slipping sweetly within, and, in no time, finding her weakness. Veera cried out, halting and stuttering through her breathless sobs of sexual release, and suddenly found herself pulled into a warm, all-encompassing embrace. Veera breathed hard for a moment at the shift and, somehow, relaxed into Niki's soft arms, feeling the most vulnerable she ever had, and, at the same time, she had never felt as safe.

Niki tasted sweet at her lips and between her legs, streaking Veera's cheeks and lingering on her chin.

Veera felt Niki's heartbeat thrum strongly under her lips; a small, stiff nipple enfolded in the warm, wet depths of her mouth.

And when they each pressed a trembling hand to the other's dæmon, the marten's fur glowed with life and Niki's breathless smile was a beam of joy.

* * *

Veera remained wide awake on the damp sheets as Niki slept soundly beside her; curled closely against her lover's warm body, her face nestled against Veera's not-yet-scarred cheek. That would come two weeks later, the burnt flesh a permanent reminder of her greatest loss, and her only love.

The dark-haired clone lay there, her dæmon warm between them, snuggled with the marten, both their bodies flush against the naked bellies of the two women — Veera felt Niki breathing softly and drifted off to the sound of it.

And the dæmons slumbered on, twined together while their two women slept side by side.

The fox had a name, though no living humans but those in the bed knew it.

She was called Nyx.

**Author's Note:**

> it is well known among those who read _his dark materials_ that there is a sexual component to touching another person's dæmon, or them touching yours, which is a major part of why it is forbidden — in most cases it is a literal physical violation. 
> 
> however; between lovers, this unspoken law may be bent: if both fully consent, it can bring a deeper intimacy into the relationship and strengthen the bond between them. 
> 
> check out my [fanfic blog](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com) and send me prompts and shite :)
> 
> kudos and comments make my day and help me write. let me know what you think!


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